Winter Wonderland

Ask most blokes what they know about Sweden and you usually get one of two things: an animated description of a curvy blond that looks like someone trying to shape an enormous hour-glass on a potter's wheel, or an impression of the chef from the Muppet Show, that sounds like someone with their head in a bucket. What they don't often say is that Sweden is one of the wealthiest countries in the world and despite such a harsh climate, it is not suffering quite like the rest of us .

In many ways Sweden is similar to the UK: a large percentage of its workforce is employed in the public sector, it has high taxation, and despite being in the EU, it has remained outside the Euro. But that's were the similarity ends because Sweden has a large GDP, it exports more than it imports (a situation long forgotten in the UK economy) and it has many international manufacturing companies (including Volvo and Saab/Scania). Sweden can suffer from some pretty harsh temperatures in winter (down to -40^o C in some areas) but just like the country doesn't seem to be effected too severely by the global economic climate, it doesn't appear to suffer from the weather either; in fact it seems to benefit from it.

Every time I read about the exploits of transcontinental and Middle Eastern drivers, watch Destination Doha on DVD or look at the resale value of some trucks, I'm reminded of why we see so many Scanias and Volvos on the road – and no Leylands. If Scania and Volvo trucks can operate in temperatures so extreme at one end of the spectrum, they can presumably survive the other; If they can endure those rock hard winter logging roads, the desert must be a doddle. It's no wonder they do so well on ordinary work, and have such a following. Sweden does have natural resources that help with the balance of payments but it's quality products like these, and a tough attitude towards a diverse economy that has really created success.

Sweden is not dissimilar to the UK in that it has produced the machinery needed to build a developed world; the difference is that we no longer do. Where we have totally succumbed to the philosophy, 'let the market decide' and allowed so much of our major industry to go to foreign ownership - and in too many cases seen it closed by the new owner - Sweden has retained control of its factories. And although it's true that a number of Swedish companies operate overseas manufacturing sites, where labour is cheaper, home ownership still means that decisions are presumably made in Sweden's best interest and not that of an overseas economy.

Sweden's banking system went through the mill in the 1990s and emerged stronger, hopefully ours will too. Like Sweden, we have brilliant scientists, engineers and innovators, and we can make quality products. All we need is a government that can think beyond the service industry, encouraging a diversity of economy that will not just protect jobs but create them, lead to exports and exploit the demand for machines and technologies in the gowing economies of India and China. They stood up and kept us out of the Euro in the interest of our financial sector; now winter's come it's time to come out fighting for a change in the whole climate.

  

The Mechanics of Failure

A small fault starts, unseen at first, easily missed, a stress is applied, back and forth, to and fro, fatigue and creep, building slowly, you hardly know, finding its way, increasing in size, taking over, gathering speed, the structure fails, suddenly torn, catastrophic, an enormous crack that signals the end. 

What's it in for, he asked. Chassis extension, I told him. What, to a tractor unit with a bonnet, what's it going to be pulling, a caravan? No, I said, it's to make a rigid, a beaver tail plant carrier. Oh. Why? He said.  Never mind why, I told him, what are you all of a sudden, 'Mr Workshop'? No, he said, sheepishly, I'm 'Mr Office'. Right, I said, winking at him, tell DH (Mr Workshop) to get on it as soon as. He's short this week, he said, two off and plenty of regular customers in for urgent work. Get the boy to do the welding, I told him, he's two years with us now; his welding's okay. Right, he said, tucking into a Tupperware pot containing a meagre looking salad. I'll be out for the rest of the day, I informed him. Right, he said, winking at me. Oh, and I won't be about 'till the end of the week, either, I said. Don't forget you'll be needed after that, he reminded me, DH is taking a long weekend.

The Boss says The Boy can do it, he tells Mr Workshop. The Boy? Mr Workshop says, he can barely dress himself, let alone build a chassis. The Boss said he's okay, Mr Office says, and apparently all the bits are here already, and he knows you are busy. If that's what The Boss wants, Mr Workshop says, I'll try to keep an eye on it. Axle stands are in place; the cutting and welding kit is assembled close by. I need a hand with the timing, says Tech 1; that bearing is weeping again, says Tech 2; the diagnostics are not connecting says Tech 3. Mr Workshop drains oil and changes filters, servicing as he passes by, moving from bay to bay, and back again, all the time answering the calls of his technicians. The Boy's voice is not heard. Tea is taken on the move; lunch is a squeezed, gulped sandwich, oozing its filling over oily hands. The Boy cuts. The Boy measures. The Boy positions. See what you think; says Tech 1; give us a hand, says Tech 2; look at this, says Tech 3. The Boy welds. The Boy drills. The Boy assembles. Mr Workshop wipes his brow with his sleeve; Mr Office answers the phone. The days pass in the blink of an eye. We seemed to have survived intact, Mr Workshop tells Mr Office. I haven't stopped, Mr Office says, the phone just rang and rang; all those invoices; the spares I've ordered in the last few days! The workshop! Says Mr Workshop, we haven't had a moments rest. You've managed to complete all the work? Mr Office asks. All the technicians' jobs are signed off, Mr Workshop says, proudly. The lads did really well, every last one of them.

How did the chassis job go? I asked him. DH told me it went okay, he said. He signed off all the work. I'll have a look at it, I said. Too late, it's gone out, they took it for plating earlier. Oh, I said. How long did it take? Don't know, he told me, we were very busy; the Boy spent all his time on it. The Boy? The Boy!  I said. You said he could do it, he said. I told you he could do the welding; welding what bits he was told to, I said. Oh, he said. Oh? I said, Are you telling me The Boy did the whole job, alone, by himself, unsupervised? Oh dear, he said. Oh God, I said. Did he use the correct cross members on the ladder: pressed and box section for bending loads and tubes for twisting? Did he use enough flitch plate material to strengthen the rails - the frame? Did he use bolted joints to relieve stresses in some members, and weld sympathetically for torsion in the chassis. Did he consider how bolted and riveted joints become crack arresters? Did he consider stress concentrations when he drilled into the chassis rails? Oh dear, he said.

                                                   *************

It failed, they tell The Boss, the Tester said there was cracking and some of the body's mounting bolts had sheared already, so The Boss gets it back in the workshop and tells Mr Office to get on the phone to the customer and tell them there is a delay due to the volume of work and The Boy and the Boss get the plans out and the alignment kit and dismantle, cut and unbolt and then The Boy and The Boss measure, weld and bolt, and Mr Office deals with the phone.

And they stop for lunch, and they sit down together for tea, and they relax and talk -  for as long as it takes.

Nearly, Mrs Robinson

I can't help but applaud Karen Bancroft for her motives in writing to
the Department for Transport (letters: Trucking Magazine and Truckstop
News) but it's the rant and apparent confusion that mar the whole
enterprise, in my opinion. Rogue VOSA practices and foreign drivers
wrapped up in sarcasm about the treatment of her mail - it makes
difficult reading if you wish to stay focused on the point. Which
seems to be some sort of misunderstanding of the aims of the Road
Transport Working Time Directive and the EU Drivers Hours regulations:
the former is about rights, the latter about road safety. Focus on
that and all becomes clear. The job has to be done; the country
depends on it. Drive within Drivers Hours regulations, use your rest
wisely and be safe. Enjoy the extra time off given to you by the
RTWTD. And if you want something to rant about, try the fact that EU
Drivers Hours regulations (EU/561/2006) do not allow a Regular Weekly
Rest to be taken in a vehicle. It's true; ask them

Riveting Stuff

This is the first piece of writing on my new laptop. A piece of kit, I must say, that’s a vast improvement on the old one. The screen resolution is better, the operating program seems an improvement and it certainly works faster. Even the keyboard feels better. It should be no surprise, of course, it's a whole five years newer. Yes, it certainly is a better machine. How odd that if it hadn't been for the sudden death of the old one I would never have gone out and bought it in the first place. I would have struggled on, in the dark ages, making do with dated technology.

Well, that’s not completely true. In many ways the old one wasn't that much different from this one, and when you consider what most of us actually do with our computers, I would probably have carried on using it for a number of years to come. I miss the familiarity of that old laptop; I knew my way round it. I'd grown used to its quirks and the little problems that had developed during our years together. It was like an old friend. And all my files were on it; files which will now have to be transferred. I have to ask myself if this really is a better machine for me, for what I do.

However, you really need to consider the long view, and the wider sphere of life in general, to  see that renewal is always a good thing. Advancement in every arena is essential - not just in computers - and where would we be if some of the old ideas had not been replaced? Would we still believe that the sun and the planets rotate around the earth? Just as everything must grow old and die, so that it can be renewed, even we must die so that the young can relearn and re-evaluate. If Newton had been allowed to live forever at the expense of newer scientists, Einstein might never have come along with his new explanation of gravity. As the old die away, new objective thinkers come along, uncluttered by dogma so that new ideas, new technologies and new machines are born. It's as simple as that.

Well, not quite. There is the tempering effect of established wisdom to consider and how it can prevent those rash decisions that so often lead to disaster. Look at the impetuousness of youth when it comes to buying cars: doesn't just a little experience help weed out the duds, the rust heaps and oil burners. What about superseded vehicle technology that reappears decades later: multi-leaf spring designs that disappeared from cars in the seventies only to be reintroduced as an essential component on some modern four-wheel drive pick-ups. So, it's not only the secure feeling we get from familiarity that makes us value convention. There is something to be said for proven know-how. Maybe that's why many of us are prone to cling to the past.

Yes, and isn't change often just an illusion of improvement - surely, that's what fashion is, isn't it? It's obvious we have a tendency towards change as much we do towards preservation. More evidence, I suppose, of the moderating balance necessary when renewal is so important. In my own experience, I've seen canal boats made to look like old working boats despite being simply living accommodation for water gypsies - of which, I am so happy to announce, I am one myself. (The water road is like the tarmac road of the fifties: less regulated, less congested, freer.) The modern working boats are actually hire boats – although, to admit to such a view would be sacrilege to many boaters – and 'working boats' are simply privately owned vessels constructed to look like the traditional pliers of trade on the waterways. Some have modern engines, buried below the stern deck; canvas covers, that reveal sumptuous living accommodation; imitation woodwork created by a painting technique called scumbling; and all the modern gizmos – washing machines, showers and a type of flushing toilet - that make life so much easier. They even have fake rivets.

Rivets - those small, domed, thread-less and, with a little help from a hammer, self securing bolts used to join sheets of metal. Although still used in modern fabrication, riveting is a method that was once far more visible than it is today. On the canals, we love to see riveted boats; we think they are quaint, picturesque and unquestionably likable compared to some modern boats; in the same way we view wind turbines as the scourge of the countryside and windmills as as an embodiment of the perfect landscape. Wood and rivets, it would seem, might provide the disguise needed to make new appear old and turn violation into veneration: a cosmetic treatment that will cause people to turn and look instead of turning the other away.

Maybe that is what is needed in the world of trucks, where hostility exists around almost every corner to the presence of such large vehicles on our roads. Instead of concentrating on designs that appeal solely to the operator and driver – those transformer lookalikes or the sleek and shiny modular towers that most tractor unit manufacturers have adopted – what about something a little different? Why not appeal to the public at large in an attempt to make trucks more acceptable? With only a few small changes (and without destroying important aerodynamic shaping) trucks could be made to look more 'old world' and, therefore, more attractive in a traditional sense. Just a bit of Freightliner-like riveting and some fake old Scammell-like wooden coachwork (oh, and a bit of proper sign writing) could turn a juggernaut into a quaint lorry – just like the ones they had in the good old days. And my new laptop? I'll get used to it, of course, and appreciate its new features and faster systems. Soon, I won't be able to live without it.