Letter to Bike magazine

 

I popped out earlier to pick up this month’s Bike, a nice little ride to my nearest WH Smith and just far enough to justify a coffee while having an initial flick through. I know for the sake of the planet I should have it posted or better still, read an electronic version, but I’ve always got the magazine while out on the bike, it just seems right somehow. Anyway, this morning, sitting at a table outside Costa, I couldn’t help but notice a nearby pelican crossing, not least because of the beeping when the lights went to red. I reckon every other person using it didn’t look at the road before pressing the button, and with no thought whatsoever,  every last one of them pressed the button regardless of any approaching traffic. None waited for heavy lorries to pass; many crossed an empty road the lights having turned red for no reason. Some, seeing that no vehicles were approaching, crossed before the lights changed, which, of course, they eventually did, forcing vehicles coming along moments later to brake to a standstill for a crossing devoid of any pedestrian. The lights changing, the beeper beeping, and all those vehicles having to overcome God knows how much friction in order to get going again and accelerate to their original speed. What a waist of precious energy.

I got back on my Strom and rode home, something I’ll do till it dies and I can justify the energy deficit needed to produce a new electric bike.

Built in India - letter to Motorcycle Sport & Leisure

 

What a great article that was about the Norton Commando 961 in July's MSL. And what a great bike the Norton is. And how great is the whole retro bike scene, allowing as it does the style and feel of those old bikes without the reality of true authenticity. ABS, electric start, oil tight and reliable, what’s not to like?

There are plenty of people like me out there ready to buy them, these new old bikes – except that I won’t be. Well, not one made by an Indian company. And sadly, that means no new Norton me. Why, because it’s not British? Certainly not, Norton's Indian owners are preserving an iconic name in motorcycling, for which we should be very grateful. Because there are yellow upside down forks with orange reflectors stuck on them? Nope, that’s just a sign of the times, and they are there for the simple reason the bike must exist in the now.

It's because I absolutely refuse to do anything that supports the Russian economy. The longer the war in Ukraine goes on, the more we will suffer. The quicker sanctions work, the quicker we can get back to some sort of normality. By importing Russian crude, India is funding Putin’s war, prolonging the agony of Ukraine and threatening life in the West. I know it’s complicated, and I am fully prepared to except that I have little if no understanding of energy markets. But the principle stands – give nothing to Russia other than that which is absolutely necessary. India can source oil elsewhere, as it has in the past, it should continue to do so now. I also appreciate that this might not be the sort of material for a magazine dedicated to the true enjoyment of motorcycling. But these are difficult times, and not just for Europe - we all should be aware of the importance and consequences of the choices we make, and what is ultimately at stake.

So, there won’t be a new Norton in my garage, or a Royal Enfield Continental GT 650, the other modern classic on my ‘must have’ list. Maybe they’ll be sold to someone in Moscow instead. It’ll have to be the Gold Star, on the basis that it’s another iconic classic British motorcycle available for us to buy - Oh, hang on... .

 

The Dreaded EVs

I have to admit a certain amount of dread before turning to some of the articles published these days about electric vehicles.  They are often rather pessimistic and although there's obviously some truth in what the writers are getting at, I cannot help but feel the overall picture is actually pretty good, and not quite the doom-laden image they seem to portray.

Issues sited by these critics of EVs include the mining of materials for batteries, more specifically the environmental damage it causes, and the treatment of people employed in those industries. But surely all energy comes at a cost. The extraction of coal, gas and oil all involve a great deal of disruption and intrusion into the Earth’s fragile ecosystems and that’s before you start considering fracking. (Even the covering fields normally used for agriculture with solar panels has an impact on the land’s ability to photosynthesise.) The damage done harvesting the materials needed for modern batteries must be weighed against that done by fossil fuel companies. And it’s up to individual governments to sort any human rights issues, and not the energy companies, green or otherwise.

Even EV battery afterlife, another area of concern highlighted by doubters, seems to have been addressed with a plan for many homes in the future to use them as storage. With a world increasingly geared towards renewables, some parts admittedly slower on the take up than others, a seismic shift will surely come that sees a lack of demand for fossil fuels and an industry no longer viable.

Change will come and if the history of transport is anything to go by, It’ll come quickly. It’s interesting to see how things really are gathering pace. There are more charging points around now, even if we don’t always like to admit the fact. And I see more cars ‘plugged in’ on people’s driveways. The Highway Code announced changes recently that give pedestrians priority at some junctions – a recognition of some safety issues associated with electric vehicles regarding sound, maybe, but almost certainly in preparation for a future that’s nearly upon us.

New Conservative?

Mark Steel seemed to ignore the most democratic option in his comments on the search for a new leader of the Labour Party (i newspaper. 12.6.2015).

In 1979 this country voted in the type of government it seems to have wanted ever since. Labour disappeared and a form of conservatism called New Labour took its place. This electable party of Thatcherites continued until the re emergence of Labour under Ed Milliband. Any new leader should seek what is, according to their beliefs, best for the country, as Miliband did, even if it consigns them to the opposition benches until the electorate changes its mind. It should be a matter of principle. The consiquences? That's democracy. 

Vacuous Celebrity - letter to i newspaper

Great to see, via Simon Kelner (i newspaper 29.5.2015), that the US has in Dan Bilzarian its own Russel Brand. The culture may be different over there but the popularity of vacuous, cheap celebrity with hollow aspiration is something we obviously share. Another reason, perhaps, to stay closer to Europe and a bliss that is the separation of spoken language.

Active/Passive

It's a point made very bravely by Brian Weatherly in the opening paragraphs of his article, Plotting Pilot Error (Truck & Driver, June 2013), that most truck accidents are squarely down to the driver. It doesn't make comfortable reading, especially when you read on and find he backs up his assertion with statistics. The fact is irrefutable: when it comes to accidents it's not just a reckless few, we are all the weakest link.

But it really shouldn't be a surprise. Manufacturers like Volvo don't spend millions of pounds in the research and development of safety systems for no reason. As far as the truck itself goes, safety systems add nothing to productivity. Operated within the laws of physics, a truck will always be safe on a road. A well maintained vehicle can never be dangerous; a road is a static lump of tarmac, to describe one as dangerous is non nonsensical. Brian is right, there's a common problem in all this, one we've known about all along but have never wanted to recognise. Unlike the people at Volvo.

The bottom line is that where the human brain fails to react or act quickly enough, ECU's are so much better, and faster. And where enforcement fails to control all drivers, all of the time, active electronic systems will one day control all vehicles. More and more, active intervention is being used in vehicle safety, gradually removing the driver from the decision making process. Brian makes a kind, if not redeeming gesture in his final paragraph, quoting Volvo as saying that some aspects of safety will always be left to the driver, seatbelt use, for example, he says. But this fails to imagine the result of total control: that passive systems, like seatbelts, become superfluous. Sadly, so do the wonderful skills of the long lost craft of lorry driving.

The Bounty of Mutiny

I look forward to Sundays, the relaxation and reflection, a big family meal; a sort of regrouping after the corporate life that otherwise dominates. It's really all about revolution and rebellion against those that dictate outside that important union we call Home. On Sundays I like to rewrite history. With those close to me always willing to listen, accepting my preferred view, I give a wholly prejudiced version of the life I lead during the week. The boss, colleagues: my accounts of their actions are all skewed to the way I wish them to be seen. And not only do my loved ones absorb these tales without question, no others will actually do for them. My story, it seems, is also their's. It's a mutiny that produces the bounty of enhanced self esteem and unity. Sunday is a day when all is made to appear right, and in this way the bit of land I call Home becomes the most right of all.

And on Sundays there are the papers, which, in line with my  own philosophy, as much as anything else, usually focus on family life and the home. There are gardens and beautiful properties to dream about, lifestyle articles and feelgood features to mull over. But this week's Sunday Times magazine also included a tale of rebellion - and some rewriting of history - in a piece that followed the last moments of a film prop, a full size replica of HMS Bounty, lost late in 2012 after being caught by hurricane Sandy. Built in the 1960s for a Hollywood account of the famous mutiny (starring Marlon Brando and Trevor Howard) the ship had since been used as some sort of tourist attraction. Her loss resulted in the tragic death of two people: the captain and a descendant of Fletcher Christian, the most remembered, and canonized mutineer.

The film, Mutiny on the Bounty, was pure fiction in the way it portrayed the ship's captain, William Bligh, and in doing so, capitalised on the myth that Bligh was a martinet. William Bligh suffered three rebellions in his life: the now famous Bounty mutiny; Spithead, when a whole fleet revolted; and an insurrection when he served as governor of New South Wales. Put into context, mutiny was not uncommon in Bligh's time and considering the attraction of life in the warm Pacific islands where everything seemed available and in abundance, including women, it's no wonder many of the Bounty's crew preferred to stay rather than return to England. In the film's rewritten history, a fictional Bligh has been created as a cruel and poor commander, and attributed with an arrogance that precluded proper leadership.  His conflict with Christian is made all the more fascinating, and profitable, by antics invented by the cinema. 

The truth is that Bligh, having served with Cook on his expeditions to the Pacific, understood men and the sea very well. Like Cook he used a three watch system, unlike many other captains in the Royal Navy, which gave his men more rest. He even understood the need for exercise on such a long voyage and ordered the crew to dance. He used corporal punishment sparingly by comparison with many of his contemporaries. Bligh's seamanship and judgement were proven by his navigation of the Bounty in her attempt to round Cape Horn, through storm force winds, and finally by his voyage of over 3,000 miles in an open boat after being removed from Bounty by Christian and his mutineers. Bligh lost one man on that incredible journey, the result of an attack by natives. Bligh and his achievements, both on the Bounty and afterwards in the open boat, are far more interesting than any American film-maker's portrayal of the mutiny.

History is rewritten time after time but the motive is sometimes more than to simply provide an entertaining story. There's the home audience to consider. American film directors, it would appear, spend a lot of time at home on Sundays. Ever since the United States won the Second World War single handed the achievements of other nations, and in particular the British, have been ignored. (Recently Hollywood implied to the world it was the US Navy and not the Royal Navy, as history has it, that captured the first German Enigma machine.) And now they've awarded themselves an Oscar for the film Argo, a cinematic untruth set in 1979 that claims that six escaping American hostages were turned away by the British in Tehran, before seeking refuge with the Canadians. In reality, and in a story far more exciting than the film tells, British embassy staff rescued the men, hiding them in several safe houses, until finally, they managed to leave the country. Once again, truth is far more entertaining than fiction. While the film has the CIA saving the day, the men were initially rescued by a few British embassy staff in an orange Austin Maxi motor car.

As an act of self inflation, on par with Idi Amin declaring himself King of Scotland, the Americans seem to have lost the plot, literally. In the piece in the Sunday Times magazine, the one about the replica Bounty, there's a photograph of her sailing under full canvas. It's a magnificent sight, but maybe one that can only be appreciated at home. The ship, of course, is a fiction: HMS Bounty in all her glory, a Stars and Stripes ensign fluttering in the breeze.

This Sign is Not in Use

It must be one of the strangest signs you see on the road. THIS SIGN IS NOT IN USE it informs you – and with considerable effort if the forty-foot gantry post and all that expensive electrical equipment is anything to go by. But why? The sign seems to be telling you to ignore it; which you would have had it not grabbed your attention with an enormous message suspended above two lanes of the carriageway. If it's got nothing else to say, why not display: JUNCTION 25 35 MILES 30 MINUTES, which could be useful if it didn't assume an average speed of 70 mph, a speed at which few vehicles actually travel. DON'T DRIVE TIRED has replaced DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE now that most people have got that message, so it could be used to encourage drivers to take a break. 

There is a problem with these messages, though, in that they sound like an order. Whenever controls are imposed, something inside us reacts to make any limit seem like a challenge. If we can't avoid it, we'll exploit it. In this way a limit becomes a target; if it's not possible to exceed, then it must be reached. I'm sure this behaviour is deeply rooted in instinct, and that all animals have it. My Labrador will eat anything, all day if I let her; any survival expert will tell you, eat whenever you can, it may be your last meal for a while. It's this trait that supermarkets exploit when they offer special deals. Four bottles of beer for a fiver; which makes you pick up more than you wanted, or is probably good for you. Buy one, get one free; when we all know one could be sold cheaper. We snap it up. Logic says it must be a sales pitch but our minds won't let us see it that way. That thing inside us all which says we must get as much as possible, straight away, concludes that a limit has been set and we must go to that limit. The fact that we believe it's a bargain, clinches it. Subtly, we have been convinced that this is the most we'll be able to have, and we are left with only one option: 'go for it now'.

Drive down any country lane and you will see car drivers hurtling along at speeds where no margin is left for error. Too fast for the width of the road and the view available through the bends, while thinking they can travel at the speed limit of 60mph. Tachograph hours can cause the same type of confusion: 4.5 hours driving without a break is permitted under the regulations when, according to the road safety charity BRAKE, we shouldn't drive for more than 2 hours without stopping.  And there's the problem: by implementing tachograph regulations the law has created a limit.  One that we chase, often ignoring other signs that tell us something might be wrong, all in the false belief that we must use every minute of driving time, immediately.  DON'T DRIVE TIRED doesn't seem such a bad instruction after all.

Normal sleep does not occur without warning and most people would recognize the signs of its approach: increased difficulty concentrating; yawning; heavy eyelids; eyes starting to ‘roll’; and neck muscles relaxing, making the head droop. Winding down the window, listening to music and talking to a passenger do not help prevent sleep, although they may temporarily help us to stay alert until we find somewhere safe to stop. Again, according to BRAKE, 'microsleeps' of about 10 minutes seem to be the answer, so a 15 minute break followed by a 30 minute break around a couple of hours later (permitted by the tachograph regulations) might be what's needed to both comply with the law and allow us to respond to the signs our body is giving. Signs we simply can't afford to ignore.

It could be that all signs have a genuine message. Maybe by displaying, THIS SIGN IS NOT IN USE instead of simply remaining blank, those gantry signs are telling us that they can't warn us, and their real message is: THERE JUST MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AHEAD.

Winter Wonderland

Ask most blokes what they know about Sweden and you usually get one of two things: an animated description of a curvy blond that looks like someone trying to shape an enormous hour-glass on a potter's wheel, or an impression of the chef from the Muppet Show, that sounds like someone with their head in a bucket. What they don't often say is that Sweden is one of the wealthiest countries in the world and despite such a harsh climate, it is not suffering quite like the rest of us .

In many ways Sweden is similar to the UK: a large percentage of its workforce is employed in the public sector, it has high taxation, and despite being in the EU, it has remained outside the Euro. But that's were the similarity ends because Sweden has a large GDP, it exports more than it imports (a situation long forgotten in the UK economy) and it has many international manufacturing companies (including Volvo and Saab/Scania). Sweden can suffer from some pretty harsh temperatures in winter (down to -40^o C in some areas) but just like the country doesn't seem to be effected too severely by the global economic climate, it doesn't appear to suffer from the weather either; in fact it seems to benefit from it.

Every time I read about the exploits of transcontinental and Middle Eastern drivers, watch Destination Doha on DVD or look at the resale value of some trucks, I'm reminded of why we see so many Scanias and Volvos on the road – and no Leylands. If Scania and Volvo trucks can operate in temperatures so extreme at one end of the spectrum, they can presumably survive the other; If they can endure those rock hard winter logging roads, the desert must be a doddle. It's no wonder they do so well on ordinary work, and have such a following. Sweden does have natural resources that help with the balance of payments but it's quality products like these, and a tough attitude towards a diverse economy that has really created success.

Sweden is not dissimilar to the UK in that it has produced the machinery needed to build a developed world; the difference is that we no longer do. Where we have totally succumbed to the philosophy, 'let the market decide' and allowed so much of our major industry to go to foreign ownership - and in too many cases seen it closed by the new owner - Sweden has retained control of its factories. And although it's true that a number of Swedish companies operate overseas manufacturing sites, where labour is cheaper, home ownership still means that decisions are presumably made in Sweden's best interest and not that of an overseas economy.

Sweden's banking system went through the mill in the 1990s and emerged stronger, hopefully ours will too. Like Sweden, we have brilliant scientists, engineers and innovators, and we can make quality products. All we need is a government that can think beyond the service industry, encouraging a diversity of economy that will not just protect jobs but create them, lead to exports and exploit the demand for machines and technologies in the gowing economies of India and China. They stood up and kept us out of the Euro in the interest of our financial sector; now winter's come it's time to come out fighting for a change in the whole climate.

  

Nearly, Mrs Robinson

I can't help but applaud Karen Bancroft for her motives in writing to
the Department for Transport (letters: Trucking Magazine and Truckstop
News) but it's the rant and apparent confusion that mar the whole
enterprise, in my opinion. Rogue VOSA practices and foreign drivers
wrapped up in sarcasm about the treatment of her mail - it makes
difficult reading if you wish to stay focused on the point. Which
seems to be some sort of misunderstanding of the aims of the Road
Transport Working Time Directive and the EU Drivers Hours regulations:
the former is about rights, the latter about road safety. Focus on
that and all becomes clear. The job has to be done; the country
depends on it. Drive within Drivers Hours regulations, use your rest
wisely and be safe. Enjoy the extra time off given to you by the
RTWTD. And if you want something to rant about, try the fact that EU
Drivers Hours regulations (EU/561/2006) do not allow a Regular Weekly
Rest to be taken in a vehicle. It's true; ask them

The Weather - It`s all our Fault

We are obsessed with our environment.  I don`t mean the planet and melting ice caps, and the prospect of entire countries disappearing underwater, I`m referring to our immediate surroundings.  A change in a landscape often evokes comment, on the rare occasions we actually look close enough to notice something different, but it`s alterations in our personal `livingscape` that really get us going.  Changes from what we think of as the norm prompt endless comment that result in a kind of environment fixation.  It`s no surprise in many ways: what goes on within the range of our senses has an immediate effect on our lives, and it pays to take an interest in what`s happening close by.  But it`s the character of the surroundings in which we exist that is truly significant.  When you live in a truck for weeks on end, for example, the inside of the cab, its comfort, size and colour are important. If I get in any vehicle for the first time I look around and assess it for all these points.  If anything untoward happens to the inside of my cab I take steps to rectify the problem straight away. I don`t like a dirty floor, so I make sure I leave my work boots in a side locker, and I hate marks on the upholstery and dust.  As a result, I sweep out and clean it regularly.

We notice our close surroundings because they have an immediate influence on us as individuals. The surrounding weather, because it effects our everyday lives, is an important `livingscape` factor and as such gets a lot of attention. But there`s a big difference between the planet`s too hot and I`m too hot; it`s all about our weather, in other words, my bit of weather.  Every time the `immediate` weather is in the slightest way unusual – which is more often than not - we greet each other with a comment about it being too wet, too windy or too hot.  And by obsessing we create a problem; a problem with The Weather.  Unlike the inside of a truck, which can be changed, and a dust problem solved, the weather is unalterable.  We`d be better off ignoring it – remembering that for most of us, the weather, in all its forms, is just part of our surroundings.  You can`t change it, it`s just there, live with it.

A Simple Test

You are going on holiday to the South of France by coach.  There are two drivers as usual for this type of journey and both, of course, have category D on their driving licence. Driver A, known as Lucky, passed his test after a mid-morning, post rush-hour drive that threw up few challenges. In fact, the glorious sunshine and lack of traffic meant that he almost enjoyed the experience.  He was well rehearsed for the set pieces, pulling into bus stops etc, and accrued only a handful of faults on the examiners fault finding sheet.  None were considered serious.  Driver B, who every one called Second Time Lucky, took his test in the late afternoon, battling with the school run and some pretty foul weather.  He was presented with numerous challenges, all of which he dealt with but not after some furious pen work by his examiner.  During one of these he scored a serious fault and failed the test.  His second attempt was a totally different affair. The roads were quieter and the other drivers around him seemed far better behaved.  In the end, to his relief, he was indeed second time lucky.

The question is, which driver would you rather have behind the wheel, Lucky or Second Time Lucky?  They both have licences for the vehicle but has one been examined to a higher level than the other?  Has one proven himself a driver more able to deal with a wider range of challenges, and more importantly, has one not been tested sufficiently?  My own answer is that I wouldn`t, without sitting behind each one of them for a while, choose either.  Not that I would be fault finding, it`s just that I would want to assess how Lucky and Second Time Lucky actually drive.  Finding fault is easy - and, let`s be honest, it can be quite enjoyable - in fact you can become so engrossed in it that all common sense and reason goes out the window. Assessment is far more accurate if you look at what people do right and not what they do wrong, particularly when it comes to dealing with problems. A satisfactory driver is one that generally does everything they should while demonstrating genuine ability with the vehicle. It wouldn`t matter to me if one drove in a small town and the other in a large city: just by watching, I`d know if they were competent or not.

Total Control

I tried an experiment this week.  My old BSA motorcycle needed a new clutch – it had been playing up for a while and was getting so bad the old girl would soon have become unusable – so I took steps towards repairing it.  However, instead of simply disappearing with the motorcycle and my tool chest into some quiet corner of the workshop, I tried something new.  I sat down and created a spreadsheet.  And, once it was completed (and an outline and schedule of work was laid out before me, costing analysis included) I gathered a few like minded people around and we had a discussion.  All in all it took several hours. I slumped into my armchair that night tired, but although my eyes were sore from glaring at all those rows of figures, I was able to take comfort in the knowledge that my time that afternoon had been fully occupied.

The following day I went to the old motorcycle and found the clutch as bad as it had been the day before.  In the cold light of day I wasn`t particularly surprised:  why should it have been any different?  No work had been done on the vehicle itself; no proper effort had been applied to the actual problem. I drew my conclusions and noted the result of my experiment, not on a spreadsheet or any other sheet for that matter - no, within my mind I understood. Administration should support action, not dictate it.  I should have made a decision about the best way to progress and then got on with the job.  An engineer`s approach: a physical solution to a physical problem, not an illusion created by administration.

The administrator’s language is unmistakable.  `I`m calling a meeting`, they will say, as if announcing the unveiling of something tangible, commercial, viable.   `Best Practice`, `Fit for Purpose`, their maxims are endless.  Their justification is the pursuit of the ideal; the result is purely imaginary apart from an all consuming paper chase. The administrator creates their own workload, gradually building, creeping over time, so that no one notices the extent of the change taking place.  They bolt bureaucratic layer upon bureaucratic layer, until the illusion is complete.  A system that is an entity of its own – one that`s far too busy being itself to actually support anything else.  A self serving sphere of delusion.   A sole occupation that`s convinced of its own usefulness and, because of the gradual nature of its infestation, one that deceives all – including the administrator. 

The worst thing is that we are all potential administrators at heart – we have an inbuilt gene that makes us want to order and organize.  But like all instinctive behaviour, the manifestations are not always logical and despite my experiment convincing me otherwise, I still love doing things that I know don`t really need doing.   I can`t help myself, they`re just there, begging for my attention.   I play around with my laptop`s systems instead of getting on with the job in hand, the tasks I bought the thing for in the first place.  All of us are susceptible to the draw of administration over practicality.  I once worked with a bloke who was a bit of a hi-fi nut; he read all the magazines and by all accounts had a pretty expensive system at home.  (He was also, significantly, a real hands-on engineer.)  But when I asked what sort of music he enjoyed, he looked at me as if I was some kind of idiot.  It was all about the system: a complex virtual world of perfect settings and specifications – in other words, administration.

It`s probably no surprise that we are governed by administrators: men and women who pour out legislation in the belief that some sort of order can be achieved.   In truck driving alone, requirement is being heaped upon requirement, each addition supposed to improve quality but in reality just adding unnecessary burden. And as my little experiment showed, we would be far better off with a balance tipped towards physical solutions rather than imaginary ideals.  But not everyone understands the real nature of pragmatism.  Most government ministers seem to have been raised in a hierarchy that instills self belief and confuses the retention of obscure facts with intelligence.  Many are barristers and when they see a system it`s not as a predictable or mechanical entity but as an abstract. Their misjudged conjecture, in my opinion, should be replaced by something far more certain.

Driver CPC is a typical example of the inappropriate application of abstract conjecture. Drivers don`t need to know the details of tachograph legislation, they simply need to understand the small part that applies to them.  A tipper driver in London doesn`t need to get his head around ferry journeys; a transcontinental haulage driver doesn`t need to know the extensive list of exemptions.  I don`t believe any driver needs patronizing for seven hours learning that if he drives on the throttle and brakes all the time it`s not good. In the long term, all that CPC is likely to do is create a shortage of drivers; experienced drivers and rookies alike put off by the irrelevant obstacles they need to negotiate in order to maintain a licence.

All legislation has the potential of becoming abstract in the end - because it relies on compliance, a blind deference to bureaucracy, good or bad - especially when it`s the good guys who suffer by bearing the cost of increasing administration.  You don`t need a driving licence or tachograph driver card to drive a 44t artic, you only need them to be legal.  Legislation gives the impression of control but it will never control all drivers, only those who participate in its scheme.  The engineer`s solution would be to shift the emphasis away from the driver and concentrate on controlling all vehicles; the logic of it is irrefutable, a quantum leap in thinking taking us from uncertain to certain. There will be paperwork to sort out, there always is, but that`s what administrators are for – to implement the decisions already made.

Jubilee Cerebralation

I wonder if Her Majesty the Queen sat on the throne as the morning of her Diamond Jubilee approached and pondered the mental capacity of her governments, both past and present; I know I did.  She of all people will have realized that just because someone has had a privileged upbringing it doesn`t naturally follow that they are clever.  With all due respect, she only has to look to her own progeny to see that although public school and university can fill a head with facts, it`s the capacity of the brain to manage, interpret and apply them that`s important – that rare ability to assess and come to the right conclusions, and then make sound decisions.  I suppose we must be grateful that her lot can`t do any real damage. But the same can`t be said for some non-royals, where the superiority engendered by public school combined with knowledge and limited cerebral capacity can be such a dangerous cocktail. And if she was thinking along those lines, she will have had little choice but to be reminded of all those Prime Ministers that have kneeled before her.

Didn`t they realize, Her Majesty will have asked herself, just as I did,  that economic weakness continuing over decades must have a root cause. And if they couldn't get their heads round that simple fact, how in the name of the future king are they going to deal with the number of other important problems the country has to face.

The Queen was no doubt thinking, as I still do, that countries that do really well, all round, are those maximising their resources.  Australia mines precious metal, sheikdoms in the Middle East drill for oil - and Germany retains a skilled manufacturing base. When Prime Minister Blair was planning to solve this country’s problems by sending 50% of all school leavers to university, Germany was sending 67% of theirs into apprenticeships.  While we allowed Foden and ERF to be sold abroad, losing control of the future of hundreds of jobs, BMW were deciding on how British workers would fit into the German economy. (The same deliberation TATA now has to make on behalf of India.) By not being totally reliant on one particular area of business, the Germans have maintained and spread their assets, and survived the better for it.

Our eggs, The Queen will have lamented, as I have on so many occasions, all seem to be in one basket, our resourse of established industries supported by a skilled workforce ignored. In her reign she will have seen British companies using British made machinery build large parts of the world that we know today.  She will have seen roads filled with British vehicles of all descriptions and she will have seen a significant part of the workforce occupied in manufacture.  Now, only 15% of business in the UK is in manufacturing; we are almost totally reliant on the service and financial sectors. The result of successive governments following the free market principle of natural selection is that we have had to spend billions of pounds of public money bailing out banks in order to save our constrained economy. This last ditch measure is the result of years of poor thinking and mismanagement - similar measures taken years ago with the manufacturing sector would have saved this country at least some of the pain it`s going through at the moment. While millions in the UK remain in poor employment and vast numbers of young people exist without the hope of a future let alone training, the banks, because they`re all we`ve got left, attempt to increase their reserves.  And as we pay for benefits and bail-outs, the rising economies in the East hunger for the produce of manufacturing: the machines and merchandise needed to build a modern infrastructure.    

We are not pleased, I hear Her Majesty say, speaking for the two of us, and demand better governance by truly clever and capable people. We demand a policy on business, not just a short term strategy.  We demand a larger manufacturing sector with appropriate skills training.  We demand long term, full employment. 

I waved my Union Flag on the Sunday of the Queen's Jubilee parade, watching a procession of the country`s elite escorted by German built police cars and motorcycles. But I didn`t wave it for them, not any of them.  Well, except one.  

Beauty is in the 'I' of the beholder

The Daily Mail journalist Samantha Brick`s claim that her beauty makes life difficult, not least because other women become so jealous they end up disliking her, created an enormous amount of vitriol - and interest.  Some questioned how a woman who doesn`t appear to be anything special could have the arrogance to imagine herself beautiful.  Others thought such delusion must be the result of subconscious low self esteem. When the initial furore had subsided, the debate continued with many people agreeing that exceptional physical attractiveness was not always easy to live with, and that some women felt threatened by those who were beautiful.  Brick`s comment certainly made us look closely at the subject of appearance.

The whole affair has exposed our fascination with all things we judge to be good looking, and highlighted something about jealousy that means this is not about Samantha Brick: it`s about us, and when we look at another person we are simply making comparisons with ourselves. If someone does everything within their power to be physically more attractive, all that results is that others look in the mirror more closely. Money on clothing, cosmetics and hair styling is spent so others can ponder their own worth and significance.

We are surrounded by items of beauty that provoke similar emotion.  I`ve often thought that by buying an expensive new car I am simply providing a moving display for others to fantasize over.  They are not going to look at me, sitting there behind the wheel, and think, I am pleased for him, but instead imagine themselves behind the wheel, and what it would be like to own such a car.  All I get in return for my money is a view of the dashboard – and one dash looks very much like any other, believe me.  The real beauty will be appreciated by those outside, looking on.

Truck designers place great emphasis on the image their vehicles present to the world.  And although they use basic symmetry to achieve the looks we find most attractive in people, there`s a lot more going on. Just like fashion can dictate hair styling, the use of facial studs and other adornments, truck appearances change to reflect contemporary attitudes.  In the modern world of full control, where every second of the day has to be accounted for and everything is expected to work to maximum effect, every moment presents a challenge.   

With so many demands and so much complexity, the reaction is obvious: everyone`s on the attack.  We mirror confrontation and become confrontational ourselves. All around this attitude is interpreted as normal, the natural consequence of our new systems.  You can see it in Scania`s R800 and its twin, the new Actros. The word in truck design at the moment seems to be `aggressive`, a physical representation of the new order.  These are the machines of the digital age; a compilation of discrete shapes coming together to complete a task, like the computers that run them. It would be a brave creation that went against such a trend; anything outside the current vogue for confrontation would surely be seen as unattractive.  We want to see something in the trucks appearance that we imagine we need to see in ourselves.

Samantha Brick need not worry about the reactions of others to her looks. It`s not her they are worried about, it`s themselves.  But if she is still concerned, she can always create an image for herself that no one else would find desirable.  Reflect something no one would wish to see in the mirror. Even if natural beauty is used as a base to build on, cosmetic changes are easily achieved.  If the current thing is long blonde hair and business suits, she could cut her hair, dye it black and wear an afghan coat.  But even then it`ll probably all be a waste of time and money, and she would be better off staying as she is.   She`ll soon be replaced in the “I” of others.

Count Vernacular

For those not familiar with the plot of Bram Stoker`s horror story, Dracula, it goes something like this. The blood sucking count has a captive, naive and incredible population to feed on; from Exeter to Whitby, no one is safe.  But he`s thwarted by a small group led by a crafty professor who uses shock tactics to expose the count for what he is.  By showing the result of the count`s plans, before they can be fully unleashed on an unsuspecting public, the professor rallies support.

Tactically the plan is faultless: exposing, creating alarm and then riding the wave of hostility you`ve created to defeat an enemy.  And morally, despite his slyness, the professor is surely right – blood is life, after all.  Once the initial criticism dies away and everyone realizes the necessity of the professor`s purpose, his plan comes to fruition, the count is defeated and the country settles back into normality.

I recently re-read the book while sitting at home, not wishing to venture out into the maelstrom of panic fuel buying which had taken over the country. It struck me that the professor is not quite what he seems: he`s too nice, too appreciative; he tries to be `all things to all men` and ends up coming across a bit smarmy, as they say around here.  In his efforts to beat the count, he exposes his own ruthlessness and despite all the claims of reason, he`s a bit of a count himself. But at least he stopped the vampires sinking their teeth into us, sucking the life`s blood from our veins and leaving us for dead – well, for now, anyway.     

Over the Hill and Far Away

When I was young a sore back meant nothing.  Aching shoulders, neck, legs, wrists, you name it, were soon forgotten and tiredness didn`t even figure. With every new day I seemed to inherit a new body.  And I could sleep anywhere, on anything, and for any period of time, short or long, and always awaken completely recharged. I slept in digs with half a dozen drivers in every room, across the steering wheel in my cab, or in the trailer, it didn`t matter to me, not then.  Even days off were no different in terms of comfort: I spent my time wandering the hills, resting at night in an old bivi bag.

Then, as I weakened with age, so the truck manufacturers introduced sleeper cabs of increasing luxury. I now sleep on a wide, comfortable bed. I can walk from driver`s seat to passenger armchair.  The cab is so high that I am able to sit at a table and chair below the bunk. I feed myself from a fridge using a microwave and a coffee maker keeps me refreshed all day and into the night. And when the curtains are drawn, just like at home, there`s power to light the room, run my phone and tablet, and keep me warm. 

Even the EU recognized the restful qualities of modern sleeper cabs, their suitability and comfort. Or so I thought.  I`ve just been told by the European Commission (Julia Kremer, DG Mobility and Transport Unit.  D3 Land Transport. Julia.Kremer @ec.europa.eu) that a Regular Weekly Rest cannot be taken in a vehicle: this concession, it seems, only applies to Daily Rest and Reduced Weekly Rest. So, every fortnight, if I`m away, I must find somewhere else to spend 45 hours – maybe I`ll have to dig out that old bivi bag and sleep on the ground next to my home from home.

Govern

Years ago, in the 1980s if I remember correctly, there were a number of haulage operators in London who employed day drivers on tipper work.  Most of these men lived locally and enjoyed a drink after work.  But one operator stands out in my mind because he opened a pub close to his yard and filled it with trucking memorabilia.  By all accounts his drivers loved the place and duly dispatched a proportion of their wages across the bar each week.  A cynic would point a finger at an unscrupulous employer – paying his drivers with one hand and taking his money straight back with the other.  Others, including many drivers, might say that he was providing a comfortable and familiar environment to relax in.  The fact is that if the beer was sold for a reduced profit they would be getting a bargain, and by not lining the pockets of some other local establishment, both driver and boss would benefit.  It`s with this type of rare, innovative thinking that The Government could do something to help the cash-strapped haulage operator. 

Don`t even think about a reduction in tax revenue; that`s simply not going to happen.  Look at light vehicle MOTs.  Common sense says that current technology and vehicle reliability only require an inspection every two years, but the government turned down such a recommendation and opted to stay with the current system.  The reason had nothing to do with road safety, it was purely down to revenue – they feared a reduction in garage employment, income and, therefore, treasury funds.  But The Government has always dabbled in income generation outside the tax system.  It sells bonds, it allows the Royal Family to parade themselves for fee paying tourists, and it allows donations.  So what about running its own fuel company?

As a bulk supplier to the haulage industry, The Government could trade in bunker delivery or volume purchases at the pumps.  The tax on diesel would not change, only the profit made.  Any decrease in tax revenue from the main fuel companies, due to a reduction in truck fuel sales, would be compensated for by the profit (all be it reduced) and tax the Government`s fuel company created. Governing the industry`s diesel supply could be the answer, and a rare situation where everyone benifits.     

Driven Mad

I get quite excited when the police publish examples of the trivial, `waste of our valuable time` 999 calls they`ve received.  For entertainment they are a great distraction, even if for just a few minutes. (“There`s a spider in my bath”, is my favourite so far.)  But, with this in mind, wouldn`t it be great if people like well-driven.net and safelydriven.com published similar examples of the idiots that must surely phone them. 

There could be several categories: 1. Near Miss, where the sound of skidding can be heard in the background in the aftermath of the caller having dialled the number while driving; 2. Swerve, signal, mirror, where the caller had attempted to change lanes on a motorway but there was a truck in the way;  3. “It`s only doing forty”.

If these companies do decide to go along with this small request, action needs to be taken quickly.  The proliferation of telematics will soon render this type of diversion redundant, and another source of comic relief will be lost. And that would drive me mad – we need all the fun we can get at the moment.

P.S.  I saw one on the back of a tanker trailer on the M42 the other day that said, “Driven Wisely?”  Now that`s got potential, I nearly dialed the number myself.

Little Ships

Ninety Five per cent of the UK's international trade arrives or leaves by sea... the Government provides support to the industry, with the aim of maintaining and increasing the seafaring skills base...

After reading this on the on the DfT website recently, under the heading Our Ships - Your Future, I was heartened to see that a similar Government policy seems to exist in the road transport sector in the form of a young drivers scheme. But encouraging suitable young drivers into the industry is one thing; keeping them and maintaining their skills is another.

It is estimated that 88% of all the freight transported in this country is by road (Eurostat 2007). The same source states that lorries collecting from a central depot can deliver anywhere in the UK and return within 24 hours. Just like the ships that bring freight into this country, these vehicles are responsible for creating the standard of living we have all come to enjoy. And, like the people who drive and operate them, they are essential if we are to keep it.

We seem to have just settled into the idea of digital tachographs and Euro 5 engines, when a new constraint is being placed on the industry. The onset of driver CPC’s is potentially one of the greatest burdens we have seen for many years. In time, the cost of this bureaucratic monster will be felt by both driver and operator alike. When spread over a period of five years the requirement does not seem too great, but who is going to pay up for training until they have to? With the minimum block of training apparently set to seven hours, who’s going to write-off a day, until they have to? And, unless they are absolutely sure of the loyalty of their drivers, what firm is going to invest in this training, until they have to? CPC will be allowed to creep up on us all. Enforcement is one way to ensure compliance but it should not be the only course considered, as the DfT recognises with the shipping industry:

...the Government meets roughly up to half of the training costs through the Support for Maritime Training scheme... The Government also supports the industry through the Seafarer Earnings Deduction tax relief scheme... .

The Government is right to encourage safety on our roads through training, as it does at sea. But it should remember: we need the little ships as much as we do the big ones.