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Sunday, May 10, 2015

What's New... Umm, on your favourite radio news programme


Newsroom presenter: "It's been announced by the Department for Transport that driverless cars could soon be seen on Britain's roads. Trials will, apparently, start at selected locations throughout the country in the near future. The vehicles will have radar and GPS, and systems that will help them navigate around other vehicles and avoid collisions with pedestrians and cyclists. The benefits, we are told, will be innumerable. Safety, the environment, they will all benefit. Could the panacea of a zero road casualty figure soon be a reality? No expensive road markings to clutter our surroundings, or unnecessary lighting to waste our precious energy resources. Fuel efficiency and reduced congestion are also claimed. Not forgetting that even more precious commodity in our increasingly busy lives: time. Does the thought of extra time to beaver away on whatever, while being driven to work by your car, appeal? Well, let's not waste any more time; our transport correspondent has the latest".


Transport Correspondent: "Yes, umm... It's been announced by the, umm... Department for Transport that driverless, umm... cars could soon be seen on Britain's, you know, umm... roads. Trials will, umm... you know, apparently, start at selected locations throughout the country in the, umm... near future. I mean, you know, umm... I mean, the vehicles will have, umm... radar and GPS, and, umm... systems that will help them, umm, I mean, umm... navigate around other vehicles, umm... and avoid collisions with pedestrians and, umm... cyclists. The benefits, umm... we are told, you know, will, I mean, umm... be innumerable. Safety, umm... the environment, they will, umm... all benefit. Could the, umm... panacea of a zero road casualty figure soon, you know, I mean, umm... be a reality? No expensive, umm... you know, road markings to clutter our, umm... surroundings, or unnecessary lighting, I mean, to waste our, umm... precious energy resources. Fuel, umm... efficiency and, umm... reduced congestion are also, you know, claimed. Not forgetting that even more, umm... precious commodity in our increasingly, umm... busy lives, umm... time. The thought of that extra time to, umm... beaver away on, you know, whatever, while being driven to, umm... work by your car, umm... I mean, none of us want to, umm... you know, waste time? Back to you in the studio".

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