“O.K. people settle down, this I.T. training’s costing you or your company money, so let’s get on, we’ve got a lot to get through today. As I said earlier, during the personal introductions, my name’s Lynda. Now, all of you seem to have a good basic knowledge of computers, as you use them all day in your offices. Oh, except you, TW, you’re a lorry driver aren’t you? Well never mind, you’ll just have to try and keep up. I’m sure you’ll find it OK in the end…
“Now, I want you all to sit in your seat facing the screen and within easy reach of the... No, TW, not the controls, the keyboard and mouse. You’ll find your computer’s already in Word, so I want you all to open a document. TW, have you lost something? You’re looking under the desk. …No, no, a Word document. On the computer, look, like this …
“The next thing we’ll do is insert a chart. TW, we don’t need to open that, it’s for CD’s. …Oh, where does the chart go, well it’ll be on the screen, of course. Try a pie chart to start with. Now, we’ll have to find one first, so, everyone, use the mouse and hit the Insert button. TW, PLEASE, not like that, you’ll damage the screen. Oh, good, Jennifer, you’ll show him. Thank you. Now practice by inserting a number of charts into the document …
“The next thing we’ll do is insert some pictures from Clipart. Well done TW, you’ve opened it already. …Oh, Jennifer did it for you, well, never mind, you’ll get the hang of it yourself, eventually. Now, let’s all find a picture of a tree and place it in our document. Copy a few more in and ... Well just do your best, TW. And then put a car in; try the one with the man sitting in it. And what more do we need to complete our little picture? It may help to ask yourself what our man is doing sitting alone in his car in the countryside? …I beg your pardon, TW; he’s probably reading what type of magazine? Oh dear me, no. Oh, dear …
“I think we’d better save what we’ve done so far. So, open File and then Save As, click on Training in My Documents and then find the appropriate file name. TW, put your hands down. …I don’t care if you do want to surrender. Then we just …
"Those of you who are using a laptop may see a light flashing in front of you. What do we do when we see a flashing light? …No, TW, we don’t try to hide some of the charts; it means the battery is low, so we need to plug our computer into the mains. Laptops, as you can see, are very convenient, we can sit them on our laps while we run our fingers over them. …Good gracious me, TW, I really wouldn’t know, I’ve never been in a Bulgarian lorry park…”
“And, finally, we’ll add a bit of text and generally tidy up the pages. …You say you can’t get the text on the page, TW, because there’s a picture of a car in the way? Well, delete the car. …Yes, that’s right, if there’s a car in the way, delete it. …Oh, you’re beginning to like computers, well; I told you it would be OK in the end”
“Now, I want you all to sit in your seat facing the screen and within easy reach of the... No, TW, not the controls, the keyboard and mouse. You’ll find your computer’s already in Word, so I want you all to open a document. TW, have you lost something? You’re looking under the desk. …No, no, a Word document. On the computer, look, like this …
“The next thing we’ll do is insert a chart. TW, we don’t need to open that, it’s for CD’s. …Oh, where does the chart go, well it’ll be on the screen, of course. Try a pie chart to start with. Now, we’ll have to find one first, so, everyone, use the mouse and hit the Insert button. TW, PLEASE, not like that, you’ll damage the screen. Oh, good, Jennifer, you’ll show him. Thank you. Now practice by inserting a number of charts into the document …
“The next thing we’ll do is insert some pictures from Clipart. Well done TW, you’ve opened it already. …Oh, Jennifer did it for you, well, never mind, you’ll get the hang of it yourself, eventually. Now, let’s all find a picture of a tree and place it in our document. Copy a few more in and ... Well just do your best, TW. And then put a car in; try the one with the man sitting in it. And what more do we need to complete our little picture? It may help to ask yourself what our man is doing sitting alone in his car in the countryside? …I beg your pardon, TW; he’s probably reading what type of magazine? Oh dear me, no. Oh, dear …
“I think we’d better save what we’ve done so far. So, open File and then Save As, click on Training in My Documents and then find the appropriate file name. TW, put your hands down. …I don’t care if you do want to surrender. Then we just …
"Those of you who are using a laptop may see a light flashing in front of you. What do we do when we see a flashing light? …No, TW, we don’t try to hide some of the charts; it means the battery is low, so we need to plug our computer into the mains. Laptops, as you can see, are very convenient, we can sit them on our laps while we run our fingers over them. …Good gracious me, TW, I really wouldn’t know, I’ve never been in a Bulgarian lorry park…”
“And, finally, we’ll add a bit of text and generally tidy up the pages. …You say you can’t get the text on the page, TW, because there’s a picture of a car in the way? Well, delete the car. …Yes, that’s right, if there’s a car in the way, delete it. …Oh, you’re beginning to like computers, well; I told you it would be OK in the end”
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