Snakes and Ladders is more than just a
simple game to some. In fact, over the centuries it’s been used to teach moral
values, to illustrate the various ups and downs of life, and even to help instil
leadership skills. The road to success it seems to say is one that climbs worthy
ladders while avoiding those slippery snakes of shame.
Well, you can forget all that rubbish,
because on a bike the snakes are the good bits, and the ladders merely a means
of getting to them. And they’re everywhere those superb snakes. When I asked ChatGPT
to suggest a ride through Dorset, Somerset and Devon, taking in as many hairpin
bends as possible, it found quite a few decent ‘twisties’ spread between Lyme
Regis in the south and Lynton in the north. In doing so, it kicked off a game worth
playing if ever there was one - along with a wonderful anticipation AI will ever
be capable of comprehending.
I knew it was to be a long day: after I’d
put in all the waypoints, my Beeline predicted close to eight hours of riding.
First there would be Zig-Zag Hill, near Shaftsbury, then Cheddar Gorge,
followed by Porlock Hill and Lynmouth. The intention was to head home to Lyme Regis
by crossing Exmoor, all on good old country roads with a variety of bends.
An early start got me through Broadwindsor
and on the A30 to Yeovil in quick time, from where I simply continued to just
beyond Shaftsbury and the first snake, on the B3081. Coming in from this
direction made Zig-Zag Hill a double-whammy, as once through I’d have to U-turn
and head back to Shaftsbury. In the end, I got held up on my first run by a
large van and had a second go, resulting in a double-double-whammy. Zig-Zag is
tight, not very quick, but nonetheless a great test of finesse.
It wasn’t long before I was in Wyke and
parked outside the Old Brewery Cafe and Kitchen (formerly Moto Corsa) and
enjoying a club sandwich while looking at a beautiful red Moto Guzzi V1000S.
Not another customer’s bike, and not outside either, but one of a number of motorcycles
belonging to the owner of the cafe that are dotted about the place.
The road leading to Cheddar was
wonderfully fast and sweeping, so much that the gorge presented a sudden shock
with bends that were both challenging and tightening. I entered one far too
quickly, thankful for my Bonneville T120’s dexterity, while cursing myself for such
ragged riding. She always feels sure-footed, my Bonnie, balanced, and although ultimately
nothing can defy the laws of physics, we came through unruffled. Left, right,
left, the twists came in quick succession. As I straighten after one and lined up
the next, I saw a small sports bike on its side on some grass to the right, with
a young lad, crash helmet in hand, limping up and down beside it. A car had
stopped and its driver was walking towards the stricken bike. I got a thumbs-up
and pushed on.
In summer, Cheddar Gorge is an impossible,
frustrating crawl, a stream of campers and caravans, but in spring and autumn
it’s simply glorious. The inevitable urban speed limit came, but to be honest,
the cruise to the little village at the bottom was by then welcome and I came
out the other side steadied and ready for the run to Bridgewater.
I had the Beeline set to ‘avoid highways’
but made the decision to hop onto the M5 to Bridgewater and save a bit of time
– the alternative being not much more interesting - leaving the motorway
immediately before the town, then continuing south on the old Bristol road and taking
the A39 into the Quantocks. It all got a little dull for a while, with too much
traffic and too little to see. A fatigue set in. By the time Minehead was bypassed,
everything had turned full circle and soon enough my mood brightened. The sea appeared,
and with it came moorland, as the expanse of the Exmoor National Park opened to
the left.
The road became a gentle roller coaster.
We climbed and weaved; big vistas came. A blue blur flashed to the right, shades
of green merged to the left, as my speed once again began to creep upwards. I
just couldn’t help it. The road, the weather, the bike, the temporary absence
of other traffic, it was all so perfect. I felt the Bonnie lift and glide, as I
went on and off the throttle through the bends; she throbbed and roared,
literally purring on overrun. I knew animals roamed free on the moor, and I did
my best to spot any in the distance close to the road, but sometimes, when
everything feels right, you must simply run with it. Safely!
By the time Porlock came, so had trees
and bushes enclosing the road and traffic streaming in each direction, slowing
me to a relaxed, distanced pace. Porlock Hill presented stone walls and steep
grassy banks, as the road climbed and twisted. Gear choice became simple: get
into first early and accept a bit of initial revving, as opposed to snatching
it as the bends tightened and suddenly steepened with unseen ramps halfway
through. The T120 has always felt a little high-geared, so bottom suited her
well on the tricky climbs of Porlock.
I stopped in Lynmouth for a cuppa at a café
at the bottom of Countisbury Hill, before heading out, still on the A39, and up
to Hillsford Bridge, where I turned off, crossing the moor towards Somonsbath
on the B3223. This is a fine heathland road that gradually opens, as its verges
decrease in height to give wide views across gorse and grass. It’s high, the land around dropping to a
distant horizon, so the dome of the sky dominates and the gently twisting road
becomes everything.
From Exebridge, I followed the Exe on
the A396, falling with the river towards the south, its water running fast and rock
strewn somewhere in the woods to my right. With steep verges, blind bends and overhanging
trees, this often damp route is for camper vans and sightseers. I slowed and
relaxed. Then it was Tiverton, a bit of shuffling
through the town to find Canal Hill, and on to Collumpton. From there, Honiton came
after a spell on the A373, and then it was onto the final ladder - the A35 homeward.
And with that the game was over and I’d
reached the finish on my imaginary Snakes and Ladders board, not by avoiding
the snakes but by riding as many of them that I could. In the end, and despite ignoring
convention, I’d won - funny old game, motorcycling.